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deuces

i think it's time for me to quit this blog.

it's unorganized, haphazard, and completely not the direction i want it to keep going. i'm going to keep blogging and start a new one, a more cohesively designed and better themed blog. but this one has to go. it's been 3 years, and i feel like it won't go anywhere. unfortunately, it saw better days when i first started it. who knows what could have happened if i hadn't abandoned it for a year.

my new one will focus on me as a journalist. there will still be fashion, but also my thoughts on things happening around me and such. i'm home for the summer, so i can get more pictures taken. i just need to quit this one. a link will appear when the blog is up and running. it's been real, you guys (who actually read it) but it's time to move on.

i dream of sex, clothes, and music.

little bit of nerd/madonna swag for you guys.

my mind is consumed by thoughts of clothes. where i'm going to buy them next. how much i can spend without going broke. my new obsessions, which include a lionel ritchie tee that i found in a store in lincoln park. or the lego necklace that's only $20, also in said store. the black harem pants at H&M that i need in my life. 

i go to sleep thinking about sex, i wake up thinking about boys--which is a huge component of the sex part--and how my first time will be. how he'll look, how good it'll feel. when i'm daydreaming in class because my professor, who bears a strange resemblance to master roshi from dragonball z is droning, i'm still thinking about sex. i am so glad nobody can read my mind because when i space out, it's pretty much x-rated.

songs get stuck in my head, and then replaced by other songs. i always feel like there's a song to match my mood. the soundtrack of a moment in my life. in my head, i feel like i'm living out this movie that stars me. i am in my own little stupid molly ringwald movie, but this sadly isn't the eighties. 

is this bad?

should i feel guilty for loathing reality? should i feel bad for these things consuming my brain all the time? i often credit my crazy imagination for helping me see things differently sometimes, but i also feel like it hinders me from accepting the bitter taste of the real world. i honestly feel like i'm way too complex for anyone to understand, but then again, who said being an intellectual was a crime? is it wrong to think deeply about something simple? is it wrong to analyze stuff? it is weird to find yourself wondering if anyone out there thinks the same way as you?

stinkfist

i am in love with band t-shirts. there's nothing like pledging allegiance to your favorite band, whilst simultaneously making a fashion statement. 


the semester is almost done. i'm still in therapy. i'm still a fucking whore for all things clothes, and i'm still not sure how i want this blog to be. (i swear, i switch design schemes every two seconds. i'll get a normal rhythm eventually.)


things that i need in my closet very soon:

1. more jeans
2. lace tights
3. a non-shedding leopard print coat (thinking ahead)
4. a beige coat
5. a black maxi skirt
6. a colorful pleated maxi skirt
7. more cardigans!
8. graphic print tees/band tees
9. american apparel disco shorts

among many other things. i'm on a rick kick currently. H&M stepped up their game, because i previously thought only topshop had cute jewelry. cute jewelry that didn't cost so FUCKING much. $28 for a ring? like, for real though?

speaking of american apparel...this is the dress that got away. i should've bought that $40 sexiness when i had the chance. now it's out of my life forever. :(

picture circa 2010

hat: target. coat: H&M. shirt: gift. flannel: old navy. shorts: kmart. boots: kmart. rings: H&M. necklace: my brother's. oh sidenote: my friend said i looked like a sexy hobo in these pics. no reason to put that here with the outfit tags, but i just thought it was a cool description of my style that day. :3

streetstyle

O. Little

had to snap a pic of her Jeffrey Campbell shoes. after watching her strut in them, i asked her how she walks in them. she simply said, "i don't know." me neither!

Carlene Truitt, 28

loved her colorblocking. plus, the motorcycle jacket in a fabric that isn't leather. she worked red, purple, and even a hint of teal on this cold day. then she evened everything out with the black. gotta appreciate the heart hardware on her bag.

Christina Crossthwaite, 25 (Christina, if you're reading this and i spelled it wrong, sorry!)

this is one of the best examples of layering i've seen. she's got the jacket over a hoodie over a shirt with a scarf. even worked in a piece of hardware in the form of a silver collar necklace. 

i'm incorporating this into my assignment for school, so i thought, hey, why not kill two bird with one stone? and no business cards just yet, so i had to just write the name down on a piece of paper. ghetto, but whatevs. i'll get a business card soon. :) 

this was fun! i'll definitely have to do this again. thanks to all the ladies who let me be a creep and take pics!

stillness is the move

outfit inspired by solange!

here i sit, perched upon my bed, watching friday and updating le blog. after a hard day at work and two hours spent in the library completing my visual journalism assignment, i seek solace in a tv dinner--because panera is closed. wahh.--a vicodin to soothe my aching gums freshly released from two wisdom teeth, and a movie i've seen a jillion times. 


oh, and if anyone cares, my spring break was filled with the one human need that always seems to elude me. mostly my fault, but nonetheless, i never get enough sleep. at least there's only a few weeks left in the semester. and i'm turning 21 which means i can do whatever the FUUUUUUUUUUCK i wanna do. hello nightlife i never experienced!


and here we are again, making decisions on which summer festival to attend, or both. warped is out of the question because i don't even listen to that music as much as i used to. (sorry, bring me the horizon!) pitchfork and lolla are my two contenders. while P4K is obviously much cheaper and has sleigh bells and hot chip performing (EEEEK!), lolla has many more and i heard red hot chili peppers would perform. hold up hold up whoa dere. 


$45 vs. $90? hmm...
2 people vs. a lot? hmm...
we'll see.


glasses: dollar store find. shawl: forever 21. pants: american apparel. gloves: idk. boots: forever 21. tusk necklace: charlotte russe

neutered fruit

*i see i really like this pose.

spring break is finally here. for most people, that means going to awesome locales, having consequence-free sex with random strangers, and drinking until they can't remember their own names.

for me, it means sleeping in, watching television and playing the  sims all day, and generally being a lazy sack of shit.

i'm also getting my tats, changing my hair--i actually found purple extensions!--and chilling with my family. going well so far. i just wish my bro and my dad actually got along. 

good burger is on tv. last night, the cinematic masterpiece known as you got served was on HBO. what else? spice world. wow. i can't believe we used to dress/talk like that back in the day.

title inspired by st. vincent. this woman is a goddess, and i can't believe i haven't heard her album, strange mercy sooner. "neutered fruit" is probably my favorite track on the album besides "cruel" and "surgeon." she's good at beautiful builds, and seems to love the harmonic voice, mixed with her epic guitar solos. plus, i'm pretty sure it's about unrequited love, and i could write a book on that.

top: topshop. shorts: random. shoes: urban outfitters. cardigan: forever 21. earrings: H&M. 

shit black girls don't say

made another video. this one's about black girl stereotypes. seeing as i am a black girl--shocker!--i go through a lot of this shit on the daily. thought i'd make a humorous video that falls in line with the "shit ___ say" vids. enjoy!

sunday mix volume 3

*sorry about the funkadelic typo!!

instead of a theme, i've decided to just show you guys what i've been digging recently. from music that was on the o.c., weird psychedelic shit that sounds like it traveled from the sixties, eighties synthesized gold, or a song that strangely bears resemblance to sisqo--yes, SISQO--this pretty much has it all. let's begin, shall we?

if anyone listens to drake, they know he sampled this song for his track, "dreams money can buy." as soon as i heard it, i thought it was a sample. mr. graham certainly loves his indie music, as he's sampled lykke li and jamie xx for some of his other work. jai paul is somewhat new, but if any of his future stuff sounds like this gorgeous, saxophone led, vocally constructed piece of work, i'm definitely paying attention.

this shit is TRIPPY. as if their name wasn't enough, the music certainly matches it. the first song i heard by them--recommended by a friend--was "born a day the sun didn't rise," which is on the same album is this song. i don't think you have to be high to appreciate this. it's pretty good music regardless. brings me back to the psychedelic era of the sixties. just insert george harrison playing the sitar.

does anyone else remember this from a very brady sequel? this is where i remember this song from! so nineties. i'm in love with the music that era produced. you could go from bjork to beck to nirvana to nine inch nails to SWV and janet jackson to a tribe called quest and NWA very easily. every part of every genre was represented so well. idk about these days...

"nothin...can compaaaaaare, to when you roll the dice..." anyone who watched the o.c. should remember this. it was the scene when ryan was running to tv's epitome of the damsel in distress, marissa cooper, to have the cliched new year's kiss. somehow, he managed to get there with just a few seconds to spare, and this song was playing in the background. i also count this moment as when ryan and marissa's relationship ended because oliver, after seeing them kiss, went in and pretty much ruined everything because marissa was dumb enough to let him. that show had some amazing music come from it. finley quaye was rather unknown to me until i heard this song. 

"let me see that thoooooooong." 

thank sisqo for that melody, the rapture. without it, i probably wouldn't even dig this song as much. i hear a pretty obvious disco-y dance influence, which makes this song perfect for summer. i don't care if it was hot last year, i get into pretty much everything hella late. the rapture's only notable song before this was "echoes," which most people know either from superbad or the opening sequence of misfits. perfect for a solo dance party in your bedroom.

is he saying "TITUS?" grimes is somewhat new in the scene. this is quintessentially as eighties as you can get. the high-pitched vocals. the synthesizers. those robotic vocals. this sounds like a fucked up transformer and his girlfriend trying to sing together. the only downside is it's barely two minutes long. 

oh MAN. this shit goes pretty hard. this is what the red hot chili peppers modeled themselves after, what rage against the machine takes a few cues from, what predated heavy metal. this is one of the earliest forms of music that incorporated funk, soul, metal, and maybe even hip-hop. it was everything. anybody who appreciates music needs to appreciate funkadelic and all other heavy funk bands like them. 

weird as fuck. but i can't stop listening to it. dan deacon is a crazy motherfucker. but a lot of his shit is really avant-garde and even catchy in some cases. soon as the vocals kick in--probably a mix of children's voices, cat noises, and god-knows-what-else--i was sold. initially, i thought this was too weird even for me, but i knew there was something to like about it. the vocals are actually really funky to me. sounds like something george clinton or bootsy would have done in the future. lovely lovely song, and a perfect end to this sunday mix. 

TTFN, bitches! i'm off to eat breakfast. :D

apres 100

i normally don't care for those milestone posts. like, "OMG! this is my 100th post since i started!" and junk like that. because when can you even act like you're accomplishing a lot? do you celebrate 200? 500? 1000? i just post whenever i feel like it (which is hopefully going to be more frequent) and do what i can.  no need for milestones, but the title is actually my internal thought process thinking of that kick ass regina spektor song "apres moi." 

the week is always hectic. the week is filled with petty problems at work, self-doubt, negativity, stressing over class, my grades, my future, etc. i'm always most pleased when i can crawl into my somewhat comfy bed, cuddle with my stuffed bunny--don't act like y'all don't still sleep with a stuffed animal. it takes the place of a human being pretty well until i cross that bridge--and watch the big bang theory episodes on my laptop. i don't necessarily like to go out and party as much anymore. they usually consists of the drunken antics of college kids set the soundtrack of brostep. no thanks. plus, i don't have that many friends anyway--still trying to work on that--so my solitude is fine for now. though it gets annoying at times, like tame impala said, solitude is bliss.

new ideas on the horizon: new tattoos (the strange and beautiful tat i was talking about in this post. i also want new hair extensions. in purple. i think this girl looks amazing with purple hair.

gawd, i'm weird. also want a nose ring. no septum--ouch.--just a regular captive bead ring in my nose. what the fuck, right? do what feels good to you because other people certainly do what they want.


sweater: H&M. skirt: H&M. tight: new look UK. boots: doc martens. earrings: topshop. watch: urban outfitters

punctuation

i just wasted a good 3 hours trying to change the font for this blog. fail. i have homework i could be doing, but i'm being a nerd, over here trying to spruce up le blog. eh.


for those who read my blog, if everything changes a lot, it's because i'm trying to get a feel for what i want it to look like. i have this cool idea for magazine style cut-and-glue-on-construction-paper thingy, so i'm gonna toy around with it. if i can change the font, then hopefully that'll be cool, but for now, i give up. (i give up waaaay too easily lol)


every time i wear these tights, i get so many compliments. ladies, PLEASE, go pick these up today. if you wanna work some quirk into your wardrobe, they're an easy way to. just go for it. i think the problem with fashion these days is that we're too scared to be weird because of what everyone else will say. but fuck what everyone else says. if you wanna take a chance and wear a fucking feather cardigan or some crazy shoes, do it! YOLO!


You
Only
Live
Once


probably the only and last time i will ever use a drake reference. don't take it literally or else you'll end up doing stupid shit like getting a tattoo on your forehead.

yolo?


shirt: miley cyrus for max azria. skirt: H&M. tights: american apparel. shoes: deena & ozzy. watch: urban outfitters.

hold tight london

if anyone keeps up with these song titles, i congratulate you. it means you read this blog more than i do. (^_^)


my friend said i look like jessie j wearing this outfit. granted, he is a hipster-y looking gay guy with a very huge hard-on for miss j, but nonetheless, i guess i have to take it as a compliment because homegirl has pretty decent style.

i was playing around with the settings on lookbook. no, you can't see me because i'm dark as hell, but it kind of reminded me of the cover of the cults' first cd. 


i'm going to champaign to see le bestie. sometimes, a girl needs to get the fuck out of her room and go hang with drunk people, ya know? i've been so happy that this day is over. two classes, from 9 to 6, and i am totally pooped. my eyelids weigh a ton, and the colbert report is in the background as i write this. and while i was sort of on the subject of lookbook, whose dick do you have to suck to get a decent amount of hype? i see people on there who take the most boring, unoriginal pictures, and they have like 1000 hype, while i'm sitting in the corner with my little 4 hype, glad when i get a new notification. UGH. whatever. nobody likes my style. fine. (i totally just whined like a little kid there. but whatever.)


jacket: my mom's! uk sweater: forever 21. skirt: H&M. tights: mom's! shoes: converse. necklace: forever 21
*title inspired by the chemical brothers

need you now

a few days ago, i thought i'd be a weirdo and wear socks and heels. these are probably the first pair in a long time that actually don't hurt. thank you, oddly genetically constructed stompers.


lately, everything has been so crazy. i remember being in high school, singing fall out boy into my television remote and being super excited for the future. i talked on the phone with my best friend about how we hated our neighborhood and envied girls who went to non-shitty high schools. the girls who took flights to rome as class trips and didn't have to count on fingers and toes how many fights they'd witnessed in the past few weeks. girls with hot boyfriends who didn't catcall chicks by calling out "ay girl! ay! where you goin, ma?" 


now here i am, 2 colleges later, wondering where the hell my life went. i was scared of the future before i went to college, and now, just a year away from this all being over, i'm even more terrified. why does life have to move so fast? 


as crazy as this sounds, i'd give anything to be a teenager again. because that's honestly how i still feel. i'm still awkward. still shy. still a hopeless romantic. still blissfully unaware of how cold this world is. still over-analytical of damn near everything. still...you get the idea.


*sighs*


top: H&M. jeans: H&M. boombox necklace: forever 21. socks: urban outfitters. shoes: urban outfitters.

strange and beautiful

flannel: urban outfitters (BDG)
tank top: forever 21 (says "like a virgin. love me.")
tutu skirt: american apparel
shoes: urban outfitters (deena and ozzy)
boombox necklace: forever 21
other necklace: stolen from my bro


there's a reason why i titled this post "strange and beautiful."


it's an aqualung song, and one i'm thinking of getting tattooed on me. not quite sure where yet, but i think it has to be done. lately, i've been going through some things. i'm starting to think i have immense personal problems that i want other people to solve, and they can't. i have to save myself from myself instead of some handsome boy. it's like that cheetah girls song called "cinderella." you guys know. the part when they sing "my night in shining armor is me/so i'm gonna set me free." obscure disney reference. don't judge. i've been feeling extremely lonely these days, and i actually cut off communication with the outside world for a whole day, only for my parents to completely overreact and march up to my school. (they actually sent a lady to do a wellness test on me. while i will admit it was my own dumbass fault for not calling them immediately, i still think they overreacted over one day of no contact. my dad actually threatened to call the police and search for me.)


but i digress, this terrible place has made me do some real hard thinking. i always overreact to stupid shit, i get attached to people--mainly boys--waaaaay too easily, and i always feel like absolutely no one likes me and i drive people away. add this to the fact that i've never ever had a boyfriend which i attribute to a myriad of reasons--mainly because i'm black and like the opposite race--and that it usually takes a guy i'm interested in about 2 weeks to ignore me, and voila: you have a recipe for complete disaster. 


i'm talking to my school counselor to set up therapy sessions (students get 10 free ones) so i can sort this mess out. i just can't keep doing this. i have to be stronger than this. while i do think i've been pretty good on my own thus far, it's getting a bit frustrating to see all my friends with love interests or with boyfriends while you're losing each option you get as quickly as it came. it makes you wonder if you're even worthy of what you know you deserve.


going back to the "strange and beautiful" thing, i thought it was such an appropriate song and title. we're all strange and beautiful. there are weird things about all of us that some may find completely disgusting, but others would find breathtakingly amazing. sometimes i feel like i'm too weird/unique/silly/whatever to get anyone. i'm too complicated. that my quirks and everything that makes me "special" are what's actually keeping me from a mate. but i feel like you have to be true to yourself. if you like to spontaneously do the bernie dance--limp limbs like the titular character from the movie weekend at bernie's--then why should you be ostracized for it? its who you are. i'm strange and beautiful. and so are you guys.

before they were sampled...

in lieu of the normal sunday mixes (and because i'm up this late after studying and now want to bullshit), i give you something different. 


do you guys ever hear a song on the radio, wrinkle your eyebrows and go, wait a minute, i've totally heard this song before? i do that all the time. and then you basically figure out who the artist stole their rhythm/melody/beat/vocals from. 


i think its interesting to note where the songs came from. even more interesting is how the general public casually ignores the original source. the mainstream artists everyone knows and loves borrows from really good, really unknown music, and no one particularly cares to dig a little deeper.


*steps off soapbox* anyways...





the eighth track from stevens' 2010 release, the age of adz features a seemingly heartbroken sufjan crying out "why does it have to be so hard?" amongst glitchy sound effects and high-pitched flutes. though the album was stevens' most successful work to date and cracked the billboard top 200--in the top 10, at that--the track wasn't popularized until just a few months later. 





mac miller sampled the sing-songy vocals lurking in the background for one of his biggest singles. needless to say, there's probably a zillion people who still have no idea who sufjan stevens is.





diplo and switch's lovechild features vybz kartel and probably the catchiest beat ever. the reggae artist is made up of two generally unknown white producers, yet they still managed to catch the attention of one of the biggest pop stars in eternity, who apparently wanted to switch--no pun intended--up her sound for her fourth album.





beyonce's pseudo-anthem garnered 121 million views on youtube, and gave ammo to youtube comedian glozell to confuse "girls" with a fuzzy animal known for straddling nuts in their jaws.





of course, everyone remembers duckie from "pretty in pink" losing his lily white mind to this song in the record store. apparently, two of the biggest rappers in eternity caught on as well, sharing duckie's love of the soulful gem.





jay-z and kanye west, AKA "the throne" came up with the most creative title for a song ever. the first name of the guy whose song you're sampling? genius.





preachy, dark, and almost creepy, depeche mode's cut from the 1990 album violator was bound to get sampled eventually. but who woulda thunk this?

buy it, use it, break it, fix it, trash it, change it, now upgrade it. then hand it over to a formerly dreadlocked rapper trying to switch up his image and try a little something new.

pharoahs

sweater: forever 21
dress: forever 21 (technically thrifted)
boots: forever 21 (you get the idea)
bracelet: topshop
socks: bought years ago


i'm currently on deadline and writing a story about masturbation for the school newspaper. yes, you read that right, and no i'm not making this shit up. my oversexed ass...what a fitting topic.


it was ball-chillingly freezing yesterday, and not even the layering helped. but i looked cute, so it doesn't matter. 


been so busy lately, and no one is ever around to take a few photos. hopefully this will change. i really wanna introduce consistency to this blog, something that left it a long time ago when the owner decided she was too lame to keep it up.


i've been bumping this song for a while. gotta love SBTRKT, even if i don't really like their album. doesn't the lead singer sound like james blake?

there's this theory i'm working on

beret: H&M
necklace: topshop
top: american apparel
coat: H&M


okay, so this is the theory that i have come up with, when it comes to the hierarchy of clothing stores. it's sort of something like this:

• Rainbow - cheap, ugly, skanktastic clothing only consumed by minorities. Lots of "clubwear."
• Wetseal - Same as Rainbow, but a step above, since everyone knows what it is.
• Charlotte Russe - Still cheap, but somewhat classy. Middle ground between Wetseal and A'Gaci.
• A'Gaci - Forever 21's wanna-be little sister.
• Forever 21 - Acceptable, cheap fashion mecca for everyone, despite the sweatshop claims, supposed copyright infringement, and obvious religious affiliation. 
• H&M - Totally acceptable amongst the fashionista set. Good enough to have designers submit their expensive clothes, cheap enough to solicit visitors with their promises of $5 this and $10 that.
• Urban Outfitters - For the hipsters who think they're cool because they paid $75+ for something that looks like it costs way cheaper. Probably have no idea that the outlet exists.
• American Apparel - They barely ever have sales and expect everyone to drop serious cash on a lame stirrup-legginged bodysuit. Tread carefully.
• Topshop - H&M's cooler older sister. This bitch went to college, had at least four different boyfriends, and a life-altering epiphany that made her who she is today. Fucking expensive, and probably only for the richer set. Expect $50 shorts and $100 pairs of jeans if you so desperately want to look like Rihanna.

sunday mix #2

oh hi there. unleashing unto the world the next set of songs with a theme, we have my next mix, titled colours. these songs represent titles that...yeah. correspond to different colors. note that i used the british spelling of the word. why? two reasons. hot chip crafted an excellent song--and the DFA an excellent remix--of the same title, and because it just plain looks cooler. that extra 'u' carries so much intrigue, don't you think?

Colours from Aspyn_jones on 8tracks.

far nearer

ok, now refrain from looking into the lens because you look cooler that way

jacket: forever 21
dress: forever 21
hat: target
spike bracelet: forever 21
other bracelet: idk
boots: doc martens


i was going for sporty-british-feminine with this look. if that makes any sense. throw a baseball jacket over anything, and it adds instant sporty chic. i was wearing a black beret before, but the evil chicago winds blew it off my head and out of my life. :( 


today was a rather shitty day. i fucked up at work in a major way, and i have to alert el boss lady tomorrow since she was out sick today. then i was the only person working there, meeting everyone's demands--i work in an office, so people like to ask about their folders and whatnot--and taking everyone's dicks in my ass. terrible. then i felt like my hair looked bad, then i couldn't find anyone to eat with since i hate eating alone and looking like a friendless loser and ARGHHHHHH!!!! luckily, everything is fine now, but you know those days when everything just comes to a head and you wanna punch the fuck out of a wall? today was that day.

this ad reminds me so much of my outfit. luella did go international for target back in 2004, and i coveted that tartan dress. never got it, but i figured the cheaper forever 21 green dress would suit me just fine. 

i love luella bartley. she's so quirky, and her style is so adorably british. any remember the cherry skirt?

anyhoo, the inspiration behind the title of this post is jamie xx. he collaborated with gil-scott heron before he died, remixing his album, i'm new here, retitled, we're new here. his involvement in the xx renders him a producer of fuck music--n. music to shag to--and for some reason, this song feels like two people who finally admitted they like each other and are about to do the nasty. or is that my dirty mind? idk. anyways, this post is getting too long.