Monday, February 27, 2012

need you now



a few days ago, i thought i'd be a weirdo and wear socks and heels. these are probably the first pair in a long time that actually don't hurt. thank you, oddly genetically constructed stompers.

lately, everything has been so crazy. i remember being in high school, singing fall out boy into my television remote and being super excited for the future. i talked on the phone with my best friend about how we hated our neighborhood and envied girls who went to non-shitty high schools. the girls who took flights to rome as class trips and didn't have to count on fingers and toes how many fights they'd witnessed in the past few weeks. girls with hot boyfriends who didn't catcall chicks by calling out "ay girl! ay! where you goin, ma?" 

now here i am, 2 colleges later, wondering where the hell my life went. i was scared of the future before i went to college, and now, just a year away from this all being over, i'm even more terrified. why does life have to move so fast? 

as crazy as this sounds, i'd give anything to be a teenager again. because that's honestly how i still feel. i'm still awkward. still shy. still a hopeless romantic. still blissfully unaware of how cold this world is. still over-analytical of damn near everything. get the idea.


top: H&M. jeans: H&M. boombox necklace: forever 21. socks: urban outfitters. shoes: urban outfitters.

Friday, February 17, 2012

strange and beautiful





flannel: urban outfitters (BDG)
tank top: forever 21 (says "like a virgin. love me.")
tutu skirt: american apparel
shoes: urban outfitters (deena and ozzy)
boombox necklace: forever 21
other necklace: stolen from my bro

there's a reason why i titled this post "strange and beautiful."

it's an aqualung song, and one i'm thinking of getting tattooed on me. not quite sure where yet, but i think it has to be done. lately, i've been going through some things. i'm starting to think i have immense personal problems that i want other people to solve, and they can't. i have to save myself from myself instead of some handsome boy. it's like that cheetah girls song called "cinderella." you guys know. the part when they sing "my night in shining armor is me/so i'm gonna set me free." obscure disney reference. don't judge. i've been feeling extremely lonely these days, and i actually cut off communication with the outside world for a whole day, only for my parents to completely overreact and march up to my school. (they actually sent a lady to do a wellness test on me. while i will admit it was my own dumbass fault for not calling them immediately, i still think they overreacted over one day of no contact. my dad actually threatened to call the police and search for me.)

but i digress, this terrible place has made me do some real hard thinking. i always overreact to stupid shit, i get attached to people--mainly boys--waaaaay too easily, and i always feel like absolutely no one likes me and i drive people away. add this to the fact that i've never ever had a boyfriend which i attribute to a myriad of reasons--mainly because i'm black and like the opposite race--and that it usually takes a guy i'm interested in about 2 weeks to ignore me, and voila: you have a recipe for complete disaster. 

i'm talking to my school counselor to set up therapy sessions (students get 10 free ones) so i can sort this mess out. i just can't keep doing this. i have to be stronger than this. while i do think i've been pretty good on my own thus far, it's getting a bit frustrating to see all my friends with love interests or with boyfriends while you're losing each option you get as quickly as it came. it makes you wonder if you're even worthy of what you know you deserve.

going back to the "strange and beautiful" thing, i thought it was such an appropriate song and title. we're all strange and beautiful. there are weird things about all of us that some may find completely disgusting, but others would find breathtakingly amazing. sometimes i feel like i'm too weird/unique/silly/whatever to get anyone. i'm too complicated. that my quirks and everything that makes me "special" are what's actually keeping me from a mate. but i feel like you have to be true to yourself. if you like to spontaneously do the bernie dance--limp limbs like the titular character from the movie weekend at bernie's--then why should you be ostracized for it? its who you are. i'm strange and beautiful. and so are you guys.

Sunday, February 12, 2012

before they were sampled...

in lieu of the normal sunday mixes (and because i'm up this late after studying and now want to bullshit), i give you something different. 

do you guys ever hear a song on the radio, wrinkle your eyebrows and go, wait a minute, i've totally heard this song before? i do that all the time. and then you basically figure out who the artist stole their rhythm/melody/beat/vocals from. 

i think its interesting to note where the songs came from. even more interesting is how the general public casually ignores the original source. the mainstream artists everyone knows and loves borrows from really good, really unknown music, and no one particularly cares to dig a little deeper.

*steps off soapbox* anyways...

the eighth track from stevens' 2010 release, the age of adz features a seemingly heartbroken sufjan crying out "why does it have to be so hard?" amongst glitchy sound effects and high-pitched flutes. though the album was stevens' most successful work to date and cracked the billboard top 200--in the top 10, at that--the track wasn't popularized until just a few months later. 

mac miller sampled the sing-songy vocals lurking in the background for one of his biggest singles. needless to say, there's probably a zillion people who still have no idea who sufjan stevens is.

diplo and switch's lovechild features vybz kartel and probably the catchiest beat ever. the reggae artist is made up of two generally unknown white producers, yet they still managed to catch the attention of one of the biggest pop stars in eternity, who apparently wanted to switch--no pun intended--up her sound for her fourth album.

beyonce's pseudo-anthem garnered 121 million views on youtube, and gave ammo to youtube comedian glozell to confuse "girls" with a fuzzy animal known for straddling nuts in their jaws.

of course, everyone remembers duckie from "pretty in pink" losing his lily white mind to this song in the record store. apparently, two of the biggest rappers in eternity caught on as well, sharing duckie's love of the soulful gem.

jay-z and kanye west, AKA "the throne" came up with the most creative title for a song ever. the first name of the guy whose song you're sampling? genius.

preachy, dark, and almost creepy, depeche mode's cut from the 1990 album violator was bound to get sampled eventually. but who woulda thunk this?

buy it, use it, break it, fix it, trash it, change it, now upgrade it. then hand it over to a formerly dreadlocked rapper trying to switch up his image and try a little something new.

Tuesday, February 7, 2012






sweater: forever 21
dress: forever 21 (technically thrifted)
boots: forever 21 (you get the idea)
bracelet: topshop
socks: bought years ago

i'm currently on deadline and writing a story about masturbation for the school newspaper. yes, you read that right, and no i'm not making this shit up. my oversexed ass...what a fitting topic.

it was ball-chillingly freezing yesterday, and not even the layering helped. but i looked cute, so it doesn't matter. 

been so busy lately, and no one is ever around to take a few photos. hopefully this will change. i really wanna introduce consistency to this blog, something that left it a long time ago when the owner decided she was too lame to keep it up.

i've been bumping this song for a while. gotta love SBTRKT, even if i don't really like their album. doesn't the lead singer sound like james blake?